Yes, but there’s more – so very much more! I know they are mine because God meant for them to be mine, and this I know, as surely as I know that I love them.

After years of frustration, we successfully adopted Jacob.  Because we had lost children in the adoption process, I felt that if this child made it home, by gum, he’s meant to be here!  Nothing magical about that.  But we had also lost children already placed with us.  We lost two daughters to adoptions that failed to finalize.  The pain of such a loss is powerful and devastating.  So, when we finalized Jacob’s adoption, I cannot describe the elation, the wonder, the miracle, of realizing that nobody would ever come to my door and tell me she wanted to take my baby away. He was mine, by love and by law, and for ever and ever. 

I mailed out finalization announcements to all our friends and family and those involved in the adoption of my son.  One friend wrote back her congratulations and said, “So, do you think you’ll do it again now?”  Well, I had quit working in order to stay at home with Jacob.  Our finances were lean to say the least.  But Jacob was eight years younger than his next closest cousin, and his oldest cousins were still not even close to child-bearing ages.  Jacob constituted a generation unto himself in my family.  I worried that he had no peers.  I wrote back to my friend, that yes, I would love to do it again, but that finances were an obstacle.  That if she prayed, and God removed the obstacle, that yes, we would do it again.  

Well, wouldn’t you know, but --- she prayed! 

Two weeks after that letter I got an unexpected phone call from the director of our home study agency.  “Joanne, are you sitting down? I’d like to talk to you.” After the initial fears of ‘we made a mistake, Jacob can’t be yours’ subsided, I asked her what she wanted.  She began to tell me that there was a little boy in Korea, only two months younger than Jacob.  He had a bilateral cleft lip and palate, and a few more concerns.  The agency that had custody of him had been trying and trying to find him a home, and every time they sent the home study out, it came back unclaimed.  They were very concerned because the baby was slated to be declared un-adoptable. 

She told me that this child’s social worker had received our finalization announcement about Jacob’s adoption and felt strongly that she should offer this little boy to us as well.  My director went on to say that if we were going to adopt again, she thought we’d want a girl.  “If they take this boy, we’ll give them a girl when they are ready,” was the response.  Then the director told the social worker that I had quit working and our finances were tight, that we could not afford a second inter-country adoption.  “If they accept this boy, we will waive the fees!”

If God removes the obstacle, yes, we’ll do it again.

When I heard the words, “we’ll waive the fees,” it was a whisper in my ear that ran down the length of my spine.  This boy was ours.  And I also knew in my heart, from that moment, that his name was Joey.  It was just that clear. 

Unfortunately, it was not that clear to my husband.  We got pictures of the baby the next day, and sure enough, there were a lot of  “other concerns.”  Besides a very severe bilateral cleft lip and palate, he was malnourished terribly and his body was out of proportion.  He had amniotic banding on one wrist, and it literally looked like his hand had been torn off and then tied back on at the wrist.  He has a lump on his spine that was labeled “possible spina bifoda” and he was missing some toes. Oddly, it was the toes that concerned my husband.

I looked at that picture of an emaciated little waif and felt only love.  There sat my son, and I longed to hold him and give him his mother’s love.  My husband was not so sure.  I asked him as we got ready for bed that night, “What about the baby?”  And he looked at me and said, “Joanne, how can we?”  He sited our lowered income and the fact that we already had a child the same age, and had just gotten through the worst of the surgeries with Jacob.  I knew I could talk him into it if I tried, but was concerned that that would not be fair to the baby.  So I just prayed, and went to sleep.

The next morning, when we woke up, I sat on the side of the bed with Jacob in my arms and again asked my husband, “Did you think about the baby last night?”  He said he had.  I asked, “What about the baby?” and he answered me, “How can we not?”

Eighty-nine days later, Joey was home.  How did I know he was mine?  Because God told me he was mine!  And every moment of my life with Joey has confirmed it over and over.  But the story doesn’t stop there.

After Joey’s finalization and the completion of his surgeries, I started Wide Smiles.  Both boys were four and wonderful in every way.  Wide Smiles began as a magazine.  One commitment I had made to the magazine was that I would run a page of waiting children in each issue.  I contacted a few agencies and got a huge stack of children with craniofacial issues who were awaiting adoption. 

I flipped through the stack and came upon a beautiful little girl with the cutest little pigtails, the biggest eyes in the world, and a bilateral cleft lip and palate.  My heart leaped, and I felt that “click” as I looked upon her picture – what a PERFECT little girl!  Oh, I had always wanted a daughter, and my mind began to fantasize how wonderful it would be to be this little girl’s mother.  I showed her picture to my nephew and said, “Isn’t she beautiful?  All she needs is a home…. And I have a home…..”  Rick just rolled his eyes and smiled. 

Well, I knew that we could never afford another inter-country adoption, and after all, I had already been twice blessed.  That was twice more than I, at one time, ever hoped to be blessed.  But she was so very beautiful!  I slipped her picture into the pile of those I would highlight in that issue.  At least I would help her to find a home, and such a lucky home it would be!

Not one hour later, I kid you NOT, the phone rang.  It was the director of our home study agency.  Now, mind you, it had been three years since we had adopted from them last.  It is not like I spoke with this woman every day.  Her call was a complete surprise.

“Joanne,” she began.  “I know you and your husband are not planning another adoption right now, but can I just tell you about a little girl?”

She went on to describe her, and at once, I interrupted, “Audrey, are you talking about Won Hae Woon?” I asked.

“Why, yes, I am.  How did you know?”

“Audrey,” I responded. “I’m already in love with her!”

Some things are meant to be.  Audrey went on to inform me that the social worker who had made a promise of a girl three years earlier was offering this child to me, with a complete fee waiver. 

The story goes on and can be told another time, but the bottom line of it is, Jessica was meant to be mine. 

How do we know they are meant to be ours?  Because God says so, that’s how.  And every parent in this world who has ever adopted a child will tell you that’s so.