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Candace's Story
Hi! My name is Candace, I am 24 years old born In Atlanta, Ga. I really was suprised to find a place like this to submit my story. I am very glad though. To find a place and get to read other peoples stories about thier life dealing with cleft lip and palate like me. After I was born my first surgery came six weeks later to sew my lip back together, then the palate was fixed by taking tissue from both sides of the insides of my cheeks. Then a couple of years later more surgeries to the Pharangel flap. than again the next year on that same thing. Winter of 1987 came time for a bone graft taken from my right hip. That same year the surgery to straighen my nose. After reading the other stories here I feel fortunate to have not suffered though alot of surgeries, although when I was young I felt it was alot. Along with the other people's stories I was also teased and made fun of at school. The teasing got to the point where I hated going to school, as soon as I turned 16 I quit. I had no friends at school, I was very shy I could go all day at school and not say a word to anyone and be Ok with that. As long as no one spoke to me I knew they would not tease me to my face. The children would ask what happen to me but I was never explained really what it was so I said what I thought was wrong with me for a long time I thought my lip was stuck up on my nose and the doctors had to cut it down an sew it together. I was forced to go to school mostly every day but I was getting real good at coming up with fake illnesses. At last my parents gave up on forcing me they knew I was not happy there. I later got my GED and have had no problem with adults and getting jobs and keeping them. I have quit my last job as a medical assistant to join the army. The only thing I am concered about is the one thing I have been running from may lessen my chances to join. My recruiter told me, which he says he tells everyone, is to lie about my past medical history the army doesn't want anyone to be a potiential problem later. I thoght by joining the army I will have to overcome my shyness, go for the job that I always wanted to be, work hard, and be appreciated while becoming a leader. I never dated in school. After I quit I felt there was a great wieght lifted off of me. When I turned 17 I got my first job I loved working, I was amazing people really wanted to talk to me, the guys even seemed a little flirty with me, I actually had friends there, I looked forward to going to work. There I me my first boyfriend our relationship lasted six and a half years. I have yet to date another but now I know I am not a freak I know I am pretty. I do wonder when I have children will they be deformed like I was. I would never wish this on anyone. I know it is not an illness and not a mental problem, but the self-esteam problem was so great for me that I feel no one should have to go thruogh that. I am so glad I got to tell my story and I am glad I found that I am not the only person that went through this, until now I have wondered. I would love to hear from hear from anyone who would like to write. To those parents out there I belive you are the one to make your children belive in them selves. Let them know how beutiful they are I know first hand how children can be so cruel. Your children have to love themselves before anyone else will love them. Thank you widesmile for this opportunity. If everyone looked alike this world would be boring, Thank God for our little differances.