copyright © 1997 Wide Smiles, Inc. This Document is from WideSmiles Website - http://www.widesmiles.org/ Reprint in whole or in part, without written permission from Wide Smiles, is prohibited. Email: WideSmiles@aol.com
Christine's Story
Hi everyone! After reading everyone else's cleft story I thought I'd pass mine along as well. I was surprised to find such a web site but I guess there's everything on the net these days. Just earlier today I was reading over my medical records regarding my cleft lip/palate surgeries so I guess it's synchronistic that I should stumble upon this site.
I was born in 1965 with a bilateral cleft lip & palate. I had my first surgey at 4 months and have had a total of 7, my last one being in 1985. I've been thinking about going for another consultation to see if any improvements can be done since the last time I checked. Although I have come to terms with my appearance I still would like to have a more "normal" nose. My experience growing up is just like many of you, I was often teased as a child and teenager and came to be quite a shy person. Going to amusement parks which should have been a fun experience for any child were nightmares for me as the other kids in line would often laugh and make fun of my nose. Growing up I remember looking forward to my surgeries as they were one step closer to normalacy for me. Despite my "ugly" nose I did manage to have a boyfriend in high school and several after that. I got married in 1992 but am now divorced. Being single and in the dating scene again has made me more conscious of my cleft appearance. I thought my cleft palate/lip experience was behind me as far as surgeries go, but I have had major dental problems recently and am undergoing bridgework for the second time in 6 years! One of my canine tooths has decayed very badly but since I have such little bone structure, my dentists are adamant about saving it. So I've had braces for 4 months and had gum surgery yesterday in preparation for my new bridge. I am really tired of all the surgeries and would love to have dentures, but they tell me that wouldn't be a good solution for someone with a cleft. I'm a grad student in a counseling psychology program which requires that we do our own therapy and the classes involve a lot of experiential work. This has brought up alot of issues surrounding my cleft - from being teased as a child and not wanting any attention to believing I actually wanted all those surgeries! I thought I had dealt with all the emotional baggage that comes with any disability, but I now realize that the emotional healing has just begun. While being born with a cleft has definitely taught me about compassion and the acceptance of differences in others, I would have preferred to have been born with a "normal" nose. The lessons do not outweigh the pain. I'm hopeful for children today born with clefts as their apperances seems to be more normal. For all parents, relatives and friends of children born with clefts: talk to them about their differences and let them know they're beautiful anyways. Teach them about self-esteem because they're going to need a lot of it. Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories - it's good to know I'm not alone in my experiences!